For those of you who have intimate knowledge of hospitality/F&B industry relationships, you must be chuckling under your breath at the headline. Only you know why (well now we do too). We may be experts in our fields but where this baby thing is concerned, we are definitely working out way through it. Here is what we can tell you…
- Congratulations! Babies are blessings. If you planned for yours, well done! If not, you still have up to 9 months to get used to it.
- Muhahahaa! Muhahahahahaa! This is our sinister evil laugh- only for those with a good sense of humour. You better start laughing at yourself and your situation anyway.
- Remember the woman you married. She is underneath there somewhere.
- If you are the male chef with the pregnant wife, be prepared. Be very prepared.
- Inform your boss and colleagues as soon as possible. Hospitality colleagues are incredibly understanding about pregnancies and the demands on both sides. You will need them to have your back when you have to attend to your wife a lot more than usual.
- If you are the female chef who is pregnant, enjoy the attention your partner and teammates are throwing your way. Soon you will get a desk job and get off your feet.
- Mommy-to-be is likely to shy away from the kitchen. It means that partners have to take up the gauntlet and do the vast majority of prepping and cooking at home. Yes, even if you spent all day handling food!
- Whatever you do, try to schedule doctors’ appointments on your days off. You need to be there for those special moments. At least these can be scheduled ahead of time at a time convenient to you. If you cannot get the day off, there is still hope. Luckily, doctors work outside of busy lunch and dinner service. There will be many moments you will miss later on after birth but these first ones are precious and will help you bond with your partner and baby.
- Look into your health insurance benefits. While it may be a little late to make any adjustments, you will be aware of what perimeters you have to work with.
- Prepare for weird cravings and combinations. The Steward is now a fan of ketchup. Go figure.
- Prepare for DAILY trips to the supermarket. Even for ice. It’s not her, it’s your baby.
- Prepare to cook a meal she made you shop for only to see it being pushed away by a very unhappy pregnant lady. I know what you are thinking. Keep those thoughts to yourself. It’s not her, it’s your baby.
- Have a sense of humour. Dig deep. Drill mines into an inner playfulness that will make keep your cool when the tears come flowing because you didn’t put garlic in the spinach. It’s not her, it’s your baby.
- If you are a light sleeper (which is unlikely if you have survived with the demanding hours and lack of sleep in the industry) good luck. She will toss and turn and get out of be a million times to use the washroom. It’s not her, it’s your baby.
- When you go out to eat, prepare to swap plates or order another entree entirely. Or to move to another restaurant because there is nothing on the menu that she may want. It’s not her, it’s your baby.
- Take pics of the belly as it grows. Talk to it and rub it. This will make you forget that you have to cut your sleep short to make breakfast.
- Understand that in spite of your demands at work, she will need you to be more active around the house. It’s not going to be easy on you. But look at it this way, at least you get to sleep. She tosses and turns and her investment in the baby-making business is a 24-hour one on her body.
- The reverse is also true. Remember you are married to a chef, not a 9-5er. Sometimes, your chef will just not be able to be there. This is the time to sure up your support system and even to hire additional help, if only for your sanity.
- If he is spending more time cooking for you, he may start neglecting his socks and shoes around the house again. Something’s gotta give.
- Remember this is hard on him too. A good man feels a healthy dose of responsibility once he is bringing a child into this world and this may drive him to be even more ambitious so he can take care of his family the way he truly desires. He also wants to be the best father he can be and be there for you and he may have a hard time striking the balance.
- If your chef (like me) has a hotel and multiple outlet opening and baby due the same month, have pity on him.
- If you are with a female chef, she may be nervous about what having a child means for her career. Female chefs are extremely focused and driven and this could complicate things for her. Reassure her that you will be there to support her later on so that she can get back in the saddle. If she wants to work after her maternity leave, respect her wishes. If she wants to switch gears, be equally supportive.
- Go on a mini- vacation. Whether it is a weekend trip to a nearby hotel or a week-long trip to an exotic destination, have your babymoon now. You will want to do it in your second trimester when things are more stable. (Though we spent New Year’s Even getting high off sparkling wine after a frantic search for cup noodles while staying in a hotel).
- If you cannot take leave from work to be with your wife during the first 2-4 weeks after birth, ensure that someone else is there fore her. Ideally it would be a close family member to take care of her and to help mind the baby so new mama can get some sleep. A close friend or nanny is also good. You will also breathe better knowing that someone is there for her and the baby in such a delicate time.
- Answer her calls even during service. Work out a quick code where you can both get to the point quickly. She may have a medical emergency or be in labour neither of which you want to miss. Whatever you do, do not wait until after service to leave in the case of an emergency or labour. Things can happen very quickly and you do not ant to live with regrets.
- Talk. There are lots of emotions, fears, anxieties and joys involved during expectancy. Try to be open and honest to each other. Share your innermost thoughts and find ways to support each other. Enjoy each other while there are only still two of you!
had a great chuckle reading some of the above! haha!
Happy that you did!
My name is Devini , Marketing Coordinator at Holiday Inn Dubai – Al Barsha
We would really love to invite you to review our restaurants
The Royal Budha -Thai – Friday Brunch
Gharana – Indian – Saturday Street Food Night
Lounge@Barsha – Sushi Night – Thursday’s
Hope to hear from you soon!
Warm regards
Devini Naicker | Marketing Coordinator
Holiday Inn Dubai – Al Barsha | P. O. Box 115443 | Dubai, United Arab Emirates
Tel: +97143234333 | Fax: +97143234334| Direct: +97147040706 | Mobile: +971559260427
devini.naicker@hialbarsha.com | http://www.hialbarshadubai.com | http://www.holidayinn.com | http://www.theroyalbudha.com
Thanks for your invitation. We do not do reviews per se… sometimes with share our experiences when dining out. There are lots of blogs around that solely concentrate on reviews.
I loved this as a fellow professional who is pregnant while working in the kitchen. I will be sharing this with my other half.
Fantastic! I hope your partner appreciates how taxing it is for you to be pregnant AND working in the kitchen at the same time because that’s pretty much triple duty!
Loved this as a fellow professional who is pregnant while working in the kitchen. I will be sharing this with my other half.
My husband and I are chefs/ owners of a restaurant outside the city far from family and friends. We were and are alone in raising our kids and running the restaurant that we opened when our first-born was only 4-months old. I got pregnant again two years later and was still behind the line. I breastfed openly in the kitchen and our waiters and bussers had to carefully hold trays of dishes over my son’s stroller where he slept. When our restaurant was full and the baby woke up, one of us had to step off the line leaving the other one drowning in the weeds. Stressful? Holy ****! Our kids are now 4 1/2 and 16 months. We are EXHAUSTED, but what a ride!
Wow, thanks for sharing that! We love that you have both worked out a system that works for your family. Those kids are going to be super in the kitchen! It does sound very exhausting… chef families have to make such sacrifices for the sake of the passion and the livelihood but again, it is very reassuring that you are doing it together.
The key to getting through something like this is a sense of humor!!!
Love your blogs, came across them from a fellow chef friend of mine I use to work with. Talking pregnancies and Chefs, both of my pregnancies were Skype babies. Whilst I was still working in DXB, my husband who is a Chef was working overseas. He certainly got off lightly!! Mind you, hit him big time when the first child was born!!
Wow! Your story is inspiring! You are brave to do the pregnancies and deliveries alone. Happy you guys got through it!
Oh wow! Congratulations! I wonder my newly born baby girl will be also adapted to our kitchen and food venture. I did most of the points though. Dropping off from fooderatiarabia.com and this is cool blog. Love it.
I am sure she will be a kitchen fanatic or at the very least, a darn wicked cook!
Congrats! And he can cook you all of your cravings 🙂
Amen! Thanks so much dear!
Love these lists of beng married to a chef and chef pregnancy. I am a female executive chef and food and beverage manager and a lot of people don’t get my life. I am 3 weeks away from my due date, no one quite gets what that is like in a kitchen. My husband is so supportive and will love to read the one about being married to a chef. It is so true!
Hi though neither I nor my husband is a chef this list has been very helpful. My husband works for waste management and he is out before the Dawn and gets home late. So this list has helped me to see things from his point of view as well. We already have one child and are due with our second in april. He comes home grumpy and exhausted most nights and the house is usually a mess not because I didn’t try to get it clean but because I just don’t have the energy to do it. I feel for the men and women who are going through this process is rough on both parties. The men get our grumpy and emotionally unstable aditude and our constant need for their help and they just want to sit down relax have a beer and be left alone. I try to have dinner ready when he gets home or at least planned out to start when he walks in but it doesn’t always work out and sometimes he hasnt eaten all day but says hes not hungry…. then I get grouchy lol anyway thanks so much for your encouraging words and the insight on both sides of the fence.
If you are pregnant with a chef/cook you are going to face alone everything most the time… And he is going to fall asleep during the actual delivery. Then he is going to keep his crazy hours because now you need the money even more, and although he is going to love your child, you are going to be forgotten…
My marriage to a chef did not make it. We got pregnant early-on, and I took all the abandonment way too personally…Plus there seemed to be lot of drugs in the kitchen, in his system.
He never once cooked for me, forgot every special event we ever had…SIGH
These two articles clearly explain WHY, and even after 20 years…really HELPED. Thank you so much to both of you. Too true. Oh he critiqued my food! Ouch, slept through Valentines day…
Our SON is an amazing man even wo/ his father, and think God, HIS passion is music!
Hi this is amazing, great article – both about being married to a chef & when the chef’s wife becomes pregnant. This is very true!..:) You got me teary eyed.. My husband is a exec chef and im pregnant now. I understand how difficult & challenging his schedule & demand of his times at work. But i can feel that he always tried his best to be there for me & spend quality time whenever it is possible. He has been so very supportive especially with my condition right now. Eventhough he is tired coming from work, but he would still ask me if there is anything that i want to eat so he could cook for me & does some household chores during his off days & other stuffs. I know he is tired and I pity on him. I am so blessed for having a husband like him – for marrying a Chef!
I loved your articles, but my problems are in reverse. I just became Head Chef and like you said the hours are brutal. I’m the only female Head Chef in my area and it’s great for the reputation and the paycheck, but it’s murder on the social life. Most men don’t want to be put on the back burner and they do take a lot of attention. And unless your in the industry, they usually don’t understand the drive and ambition it takes to get a head. So far I’m an expert on first dates and everything goes along pretty well until I get a call from my Sous saying that a dishwasher just walked out or the lowboy isn’t cooling. And that usually puts a screeching halt to our otherwise good time.
What was it like for you before you got married, was dating as whirlwind a life as your married one? It’s just nice to know I’m not going solo in this situation.
Thank you so much for your two articles (pregnancy and marriage to a chef). They are spot on and have really helped us realise that although things are super tough, it’s not impossible. Really really helped so much.
Happy to help Danielle! Thanks for sharing your experience!