This article was published in my column for the Khaleej Times, wknd magazine on November 1, 2013.
Three generations in the kitchen, learning the language of love
A few weeks ago, my life changed. I had a baby. There is a new man in my life, who gives it brand new meaning. I am a mother. And like every new mother after months of expectancy, I feel a series of emotions flood my body daily. It has taken my son to shed new light on how I value my own mother, especially the way she communicates with me through food.
My mother, Waneta May, travelled all the way from Jamaica to Dubai prior to the arrival of my baby so that she could spend three months helping me make my own transition into motherhood. In her bags, she packed some of her personal items, but sacrificed lots of space for gifts for me, husband and indirectly even baby as well. She brought bags bearing gifts of food.
She got me real Jamaican scotch bonnet peppers, seriously pungent thyme from the hills of St. Andrew, moringa, cocoa beans, hominy corn, ackee — Jamaica’s national fruit — as well as pickled favourites. For my mother — like so many mothers — food is her language of love.
In the last uncomfortable stages of pregnancy, few things brought me as much relief as a bowl of soup or porridge from my mom. After giving birth, my appetite returned with a vengeance, much to her delight. I, who was hard to feed as a child with very picky eating habits, had become an open food lover, willing to try dishes she had always loved herself but never dared to cook for me. I was now just beginning to get a taste of my own mother that I had never experienced. With a clean and eager palate, I welcomed the daily food adventures created in my own kitchen, in which she was rightfully crowned queen by both my husband and myself. I simply showed her where the items were and stepped aside, only to be blown away daily. I was inspired. My mother had ushered my food mojo back. With this newfound inspiration, I got curious. There was something I just had to do — aim for recovery as soon as possible so that I could get to cook with my mom.
I had always known she was a fabulous cook, but I had no idea how inventive and creative she was as well. I really thought I was going to teach her a few things I had learnt over the years since I moved out many, many moons ago but I found that I had more to learn.
When I was a little girl, I spent time in the kitchen with my mommy teaching me to cook. I learnt to cook for survival. I also learnt how to cook to impress others. The latter gift eventually paved the way for an unexpected career in food. But now that I am a grown woman and also a mother, I finally got to see who she really was. She was no longer trying to please the finicky eater who ate the same things over and over. She was putting herself on the plate.
I found myself trying to do the same for her from time to time. I wanted her to understand the woman I had become and the mother she had inspired me to be. Life is short and so much is unknown. It is in these moments with my mom in the kitchen and baby tied to my chest in a sling that I truly get what it is all about. The present is best lived with advice from the past and care for the future. In the kitchen, there are three generations of us who will continue to cook together through the years as we share our life experiences. Past, present and future — we are all three.
This is so beautiful. I am from The Bahamas, however, living in Los Angeles and my mother and I connect the say way. Through food. I find myself calling her more and more for this recipe etc. It is definitely a way we bond.
Isn’t is just a joy to bond with your mother through food? I bet since she is an islander herself she says a little of this and a little of that for her ingredients, right?
Just melt my heart! Nana and the little cute as all get out grandson. Now you have me craving porridge 🙂
Thanks so much T. It’s great to hear I could convey how special they are to me.
Baby and grandma, what an utterly beautiful picture!! Brought tears to my eyes, just looking at the pictures.Unknown to you I tasted her rice and peas once when I visited and it was the best I ever had! Wished I had the oppertunity to savour more of her cooking. I know how much she will be missed.
Claudia, thanks so much. I am blessed to be able to evoke such emotion in you. Coming from you and your superfreakingfantastic rice and peas, that is a huge compliment that I must certainly pass on to her. We hope you will be able to savour her cooking in the future.
Endearing and deliciously written! Nuff respect to your Mum and to you!
Thanks Taitu. Genuinely felt.
Lovely pictures. I just found this blog but, I look forward to learning more about your family adventures as life changes for you.
Hi Julie, thanks for coming by and also for leaving a comment. We hope that we will earn your continued readership.
Congratulations on mommy hood and how wonderful that your mom came all the way to Dubai to give you a hand! Having your mom around during that time is always a blessing. I’m from the U.S. Virgin Island and living here in Dubai , I can relate to missing Caribbean foods. How I wish I can get a hold of some Goya Pigeon Peas or some recao leaf! I find myself missing my mom’s comfort foods and try my best to emulate them, but it’s just never the same. When I do find a decent looking plantain here, they just don’t taste the same as the ones back home. I miss recao leaf so much I even wrote a blog about it. 😀
Yvette I wonder what you guys call recao leaf over there in USVI? Could it be what we call callaloo? Don’t even talk about the Pigeon peas! I think I glimpsed it here though. Names may be different. Will certainly look out for it for you 🙂
Wonderful to read. My new daughter I see beautiful food coming out of that kitchen. My son and grandson are blessed. Mummy Bunny
Ma B, one day I will get to cook for you too. Your famous Fried Rice is one of my favourites and must make it to the blog some day!
Congratulations and what a precious little one! My mom came all the way from New York to Oman, to spend 10 days with me after my daughter’s birth. She not only brought delicious Jamaican cuisine to my kitchen but that timeless motherly wisdom. It’s challenging starting a family abroad but visits help make up for lost time. 🙂
Yes it is definitely difficult to be so far away from our mothers as expatriates but it certainly makes us appreciate them that much more!
Beautiful baby and grandma pictures! And a wonderful post.
Thank you very much.
scrumptious, delectable and truly inspiring piece! beautiful pictures, well crafted post and a wonderful soul who has been writing this blog ! continued blessings my friend!
Thanks ever so much Judith. Means a lot coming from you.
love this
Thanks much Corve!